It Started with a Bear (Draft)

It Started with a Bear

            Darren was born on December 26^th, 1995 to my parents David and Pamela Roe, making him just about 21 months younger then myself. I can only remember as far back to the exact day my brother was born. He was the life of me and that’s just how it was. Darren and I have always been very close, but right after me, without question came him teddy bear. “Amanda you are my bestest friend ever, but Fuzzy is my bestest friend too!” Darren would make sure I knew that his bear, fuzzy, was very important to him almost on the weekly. Fuzzy was a gift given to my brother from our grandma, my Dad’s mom, the day he was born. It was slightly bigger then Darren himself, and he was a big baby, nine pounds, eight ounces.

About a year later, a few months before my brothers first birthday, my grandmother passed away and that is why this bear was so special to him and my family. This was all Darren really ever got to know her by since he was so young.  My parents would always tell him, “Now through Fuzzy, grandma will watch over you and keep you safe.”  Darren’s first birthday was Pooh Bear themed, his favorite show! I think he was just the cutest little thing, and he had the chubbiest cheeks, just absolutely adorable.  But it was a hard year to get through without my grandma.

I will always remember how sweet and loving my little brother was; he was also very curious about the world in general. He would always be glancing around all over the place and listening in on older children’s conversations on the bus. My mom recalls a day when Darren was nearly five and came home and said “Mommy, can you believe that these people were talking about hormones on the bus! What are hormones?” ¹

Darren was very experimental, he would do the craziest things that would make peoples days. His smile was known for cheering people up, and his actions were absolutely priceless. One day Darren decided to do a “handstand” but since he physically unable to do one, oh was he creative! He put all his clothes on the opposite parts of his body; socks on hands, underwear on head, shirt on legs, then ran through the house saying, “Look everyone, look! I’m doing a handstand!”

He always loved his trucks and his hot wheels and all those things that boys enjoy playing with, but Darren would never fail to join me while I played with my Barbie dolls. There would be days were he would beg me to play Barbie and put on all the shoes. The shoes were his favorite part; he would line them all up in a row and pick out a pair for each outfit that I would create. And Heaven forbid I would put shoes on them, “No! Amanda! That’s my job!”²  

             When Darren was about four years old he started to have random occurrences of extreme, doubling over in pain, stomach aches.  The Christmas right before he turned five we were out seeing Santa Clause and I remember being so angry because he wouldn’t stop crying. No one understood how much pain he was really in and everyone in my family just thought he was being overdramatic like kids do, I mean who was to know!

              Darren continued having very random occurrences of the upset stomach and about a year later after Darren turned six something frightening happened. We were at daycare and Darren’s eyes turned a real bright yellow color and he started throwing up everywhere. This is when my parents finally realized something was seriously wrong. They immediately took him into the doctor’s office to get checked out.

             So, upon demand, Darren was sent straight to MRI testing and an ultra sound test as well. The reason they sent him was because of the jaundice, his yellow eyes. They original thought that Darren might have had hepatitis but they ruled that out after doing blood work. They found lots of things wrong in both test.

               The doctors concluded that my brother had a Choledochal cyst. According to the University of California’s Department of surgery, “This a congenital abnormality of the bile duct that causes abnormal enlargement of the bile duct.” ³ This was a life threatening condition so Darren was in need of surgery as soon as possible.  My family and I were all very scared. We really had to trust that the doctors would do the right thing.  Anything can go wrong during a surgery, but we knew this had to happen for Darren to get better.

           

  According to Michael AJ Sawyer, a medical doctor, “Choledochal cysts are relatively rare in Western countries. Reported frequency rates range from 1 case per 100,000-150,000 to 1 case per 2 million live births. Choledochal cysts are more prevalent in females than males, with a female-to-male ratio in the range of 3:1 to 4:1.” ⁴ This is why it took the doctors a little while to figure out what was wrong.  The doctors told my family that it could be genetic, although it has never been present in our family’s history, or it can be a developmental problem in the womb.  It’s very strange though that my brother would get this considering it is mostly found in Asia and in females.  My brother was operated on at John Hopkins hospital by one of the best surgeons in the world because his condition was so rare. ⁵ 

            My brother’s bear became a very important figure in his life at that time, he was just a little boy and was scared and he needed our grandma to watch over him. My family was scared to but we all tried not to show it because we wanted him to have faith in us and that everything was going to be okay. He was a very strong little boy for having such an intense surgery so young.  I will never know how he did it, I am just honestly so thankful that my baby brother is alive because I have no clue what I would do without him. He gives me so much strength when I need it and helped me push through a surgery of my own. By looking at someone you could never know the stories that lye within us, but we will always have our scars.

Darren really looked up to me when he was younger for my support and encouragement. I told him everything was going to be okay but you best bet that I cried my eyes out the second he left home and I wont every forget it.  Darren really was the life of me. I’ve never met someone with so much courage, happiness and appreciation in my whole life.

Everyone needs a fuzzy friend from a loved one to watch over them. So upon his recovery that is exactly what I got him. I made him a bear at Build-a-Bear Workshop, and I named it Shamrock, because I am so lucky to have a brother like mine.  It started with a bear, and ended with a bear.

1. Personal Interview with my mother Pamela Roe

2. Personal Interview with my mother Pamela Roe

3. University of Southern California, Department of Surgery. "Choleodochal Cyst." Center for Pancreatic and Biliary Diseases. www.surgery.usc.edu/divisions/tumor/pancreasdiseases/web%20pages/BILIARY%20SYSTEM/choledochal%20cyst.html (accessed September 30, 2012).

4. Sawyer, Michael AJ. "Choledochal Cysts ." Medscape: Medscape Access. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/172099-overview#a0199 (accessed September 30, 2012).

5. Personal Interview with my mother Pamela Roe

All Pictures were taken by my father, David Roe and edited by myself, Amanda Roe